devanitie

Few quotes could so adequately capture this conflicting feeling of mine. But this particular one sticks with me.
Like a fragment of my being.

". . . I am Heathcliff. He's always, always in my mind - not as a pleasure, any more than I am a pleasure to myself - but as my own being - so, don't talk of our separation again - it is impracticable"
Catherine in Wuthering Heights

Two mismatched characters; yet so unusually intertwined. Transcending death. A merge of the Self and its dark Other.

As Heathcliff so beautifully lashed out;

"You said I killed you - haunt me then! The murdered do haunt their murderers. I believe - I know ghosts have wandered on earth. Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you. . ."

It's like what I told Joel today.

He talked of circuits. Of cables removed from sockets and damaged wires.
I found that interesting. Maybe I agreed.
It feels as though I've run into a glass wall.
The feeling of being cut off, unable to breathe.

There's something there. Behind the smoke and mirrors. In the wires so to speak,
But the glass wall in place now begins to impede.

Well, technically we're supposed to do forum postings on the books we do. But what happens when one sort of (not wanting to ruin my our studious image) falls short of reading the text ?

Behold!



Professions of not really finishing the text. Courtesy of Celine <3



Me, commenting on the points Celine "interestingly points out"



Jills vehemently disagreeing with me


Sigh. How ar, like this. LOL. And they get progressively shorter too. Oh well.
On a better note, I've finished reading about The Uncanny and Transference.

Thoroughly disturbed.

Overheard at the National University of Singapore is officially my favourite group on FB at the moment. Finally I've an outlet for the nonsense fail things I seem to be confronted with half-the-time there. That and the lil quirky nonsense friends and lecturers indulge in. Don't we all need a lil juicy drama in our lives.

Wrote an essay, owned with The Pit Lord in DoTa and clarified some things elsewhere.
You know, I guess deep down, we're all silly kids at heart wanting to find our place in the world.
Me included. Anachronistically speaking or otherwise...

So here's how my forum posting went.


celine * says:
 hahaha
 smoke on top of smoke

* Keith * Steady hands, just take the Wheel says:
 I know right
 Go read it
 See if my nonsense makes sense of your nonsense
celine * says:
 HAHAHAHHA

* Keith * Steady hands, just take the Wheel says:
 I swear, this is ridiculous la
 Will he even read it

celine * says:
 is it that obvious its smoke
 YES

* Keith * Steady hands, just take the Wheel says:
 Hahahahaha YES lor. You spent 1/4 of the posting apologising for "not fully reading" the text
 I went right into it by acknowledging how interesting your post was.
 We deserve AWARDS.

celine * says:
 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
* Keith * Steady hands, just take the Wheel says:
 Read itttt! Hahahaha
celine * says:
 I DID
 ahahahahahaha

* Keith * Steady hands, just take the Wheel says:
 Is itttttt intelligent~~~

celine * says:
 well
 it sounds LOGICAL

* Keith * Steady hands, just take the Wheel says:
 Yeah I know right
 But whether it applies to the text is another thing

celine * says:
 YAH
 ahahahhahaa
 i really dont know
 since i didnt read the text
 LOL
* Keith * Steady hands, just take the Wheel says:
 Joker, neither did I. See we deserve awards.


Honestly, I amaze myself sometimes.
Fuck me please.

Totally productive day in school today. Woke up at like 130pm, missed my morning classes, was in time for SC3101, but ended up drinking Ribena with Suma for like an hour. Though I must say I managed to sit for the last 4 slides of the lecture. Marx and Alienation ftw. Met up with Jenn  Champ for a smoke. She introduced me to this rather dungeon-ish looking area at the foot of AS7. She rolls her own ciggs too. Fascinating girl I must say.

It's the first week of Feb. 2 weeks since I've returned from Bangkok (now that was wild). An entire month since New Years. Needless to say, I suppose it's time to like put my New Years resolution to use considering I dont know what the hell is going on in 3 out of my 5 modules. So studying begins tomorrow. Seriously. Considering I do have a forum posting due at 8am tmrw morning and some 500 word written assignment on a topic I dont know shit about by Friday.

Well, miracles happen I guess. Though my goal for an honours degree has been growing dimmer with each passing semester. I guess that would be my fault. Suma and I agreed on that. Letting things get the better of us.

Shower now. Dota soon after. Forum posting at 12am+++
Random thought, but Ryu's depiction of me on his blog is rather amusing. ;)
And now my thoughts are disjointed. A log of my day for now because I can't seem to muster up the things which have been on my mind for a while now.

Singing old songs. Can't sleep. Hmmmms. But I can't seem to say what I want to say. Language fails me sometimes. Like what Prof Tania Roy said in lecture; that language falls short because we continuously deny certain facets to emerge in conscious thoughts.
So much to say. . . But...

Semi-passed out on a bench today at Tanjong Pagar. Serves me right for excessive smoking. Still feelin a lil nauseated now...
Met Ryuu at DYMK. Would have had a drink with him but oh well. Popped two panadols. Hope I'll be fine tmrw

5.23am. Post-dota hour I might add.

Rather semi-productive day. I spent the better part of the evening reading Freud's Interpretation of Dreams and I must say, the man's ideas on dreams are rather interesting. In hindsight, the dreams I've been having for the past few months. . . do seem to make sense.

disguised fulfilments of repressed wishes indeed. I guess sometimes, I look forward to dreaming, albeit fearing what I might find.
Sigh. Remeber to smile...

So I was browsing through my inbox and to my disgust amusement, I chanced upon this lil gem of a message.


At: 02. Jan. 2010 - 23:43


Honestly.

Dear RICHARDS KEITH GARETH,

Please find your bidding results for Acad Yr 2009/2010, Semester 2 as follows:

------------------------------------------
           Allocated Modules
------------------------------------------
Module Code: HY2254
Module Title: Popular Culture in Singapore
Bid ID: B00003255032
Your Bid: 10
Winning Bid: 1

Module Code: SC3101
Module Title: Social Thought & Social Theory
Bid ID: B00003253890
Your Bid: 10
Winning Bid: 1

Module Code: EN3269
Module Title: Southeast Asian Literatures in English
Bid ID: B00003197708
Your Bid: 500
Winning Bid: 1


Three day school-week, Monday-Wednesday
2 Seminars. 2 Exams.
5 points <3
And a whole shitload of work

I love this song. Reminds me of my youth, and the songs I grew up to.


Someday I will walk away and say. . . "You fucking disappoint me"
=)

Since I'm technologically unsavvy in the realms of montage making, I thought I'd re-live 2009 with some of the people that made it worth living for. And despite being like the 7th of January, you know the old saying that applies to a lot of things (especially school work)
Better late than never
PS: This is a non-exhaustive list btw. ;)

Anyway here it goes. =) I love you guys



-The Power of Three@ Tantric



- The Power of Three (+ Edward)@ Timbre (Substation)



- We be Smokingz - @Suvarnabhumi International Airport



- Ironically, this is how we met. ;) With me carrying him thru a crowd - @Samran Place Hotel Bangkok, Thailand



- We do Insanely crazy things - @Tiong Bahru Park



- I love you Jojo =) - @Bathroom of Sin, Ritz Carlton, Singapore



- First Pic with James. . . And it progressed to. . . @Play 2008



- Lol. Nuff said



- You've been like the lil (practical) sis I never had



- Love you james



- And fine, you're innocent *cue eyerollz*



- Haha, pictures tell a thousand words. Need I say more ?



- I love this hairy devil. And he's the only person I know who'd walk with me anywhere



- And though at times there's some friction between us



- I know I'm blessed to have gotten to know you.



- Love you XJXJ =)



- Pseudo girlfriend. I've never clicked with a gal this fast. lol



- Ladies in Red, Auds and Gramms a.k.a Taki =D

I suppose it was an an eventful year. For all its ups and downs, I know I'll never forget. (Lest I'm stricken with some memory disease)
=)



And as an afterthought I decided to add this cos it was just so funneh. . .
Lol Edward looks freaky. And I look possessed by drunkardness and <3 <3 Ryu meowersroarersmeow ;)

2010, I welcome you

So here's my first mean comment of the year.
It's a pity some people don't have the strength to control their mouths like they do their high morals. 
Oh wait a sec...  I take that back. lol.